Sunday, April 27, 2014

Dating When You're Homeless

Just because you’re homeless, doesn’t mean you have to remain single. Plenty of women will be attracted to your easy-going, laidback attitude. You will certainly stand out from the crowd. Not only for your smell, but for your unwillingness to be confined to four walls. This shows you’re a rebel, willing to stick it to the man. Everyone loves a bad boy.

Living on the street puts you in touch with nature. Arrogance is a real turn-off. Eating the remains of a dead raccoon under a freeway is many things, but arrogant it is not.

Try to make a sign that is creative and with a sense of humor. If a woman passes you by on the sidewalk, it’s probably because your sign isn’t that funny. If she drops her handbag, be a gentleman. Pick it up and apologize for trying to steal it.

Spending whatever money you do make on whiskey shows you can let loose while choosing to piss behind a bush vs. on the bus shows real parenting potential.

A woman willing to go out with a homeless man is a keeper or also homeless. So get out there! Take her to a fancy restaurant, where the dumpsters are, and have a romantic meal under the stars.